Are you happy in your marriage?  Is your spouse happy?  How do you know?  

What would you do if your spouse came to you right now and said, “I want a divorce”?  
You may be thinking to yourself, “That could never happen to me.”  
Perhaps it already has.  Nobody expects to get a divorce when they choose their life partner.  That is why they are called a life partner.  
You expect to stay together for life.  “Till death do you part”.  

Unfortunately, some of us forget the promises we made to our spouse.  When things get tough it’s so easy to throw in the towel.  But you want to make it work.  

You don’t want a divorce and now you’re stuck trying to figure out how to convince your spouse to see things your way.
There are several “red flags” that can alert you that a divorce is potentially in your near future.  

One of the primary reasons a couple divorces is due to irreconcilable differences.  
This is brought about mostly by continuous arguing and fighting.  When you married, the two of you became one.  If you cannot agree on anything, you will gradually tear apart, just as two piece of paper glued together tears apart.  You will each take a little piece of the other person with you.  Fighting between a married couple can be caused from many different sources.  Children, money and stress/fatigue are among the most common ones.  Although arguing is largely the reason people are divorcing, there are other causes that you should be watching for.  Does your spouse come home later than expected? (Note: this doesn’t always signal an affair.  He/she may just delay coming home because of your stressful relationship.)  Does he/she seem distant?  Do you find that you no longer have the same things in common?  Do you feel that you spouse would rather be somewhere else?  These are all signs that you may soon be looking directly into the face of divorce.

What would your reaction be if your spouse came to you demanding a divorce?  Do you know how to stop your divorce?  Would you beg them to stay?  Would you promise to change?  This is the worst thing you can do.  This will only push your loved one farther away.  So what can you do?  How do you avoid a divorce?  Agree with your spouse.  That’s right.  Agree with whatever he/she says.  Let him/her know that you can make it without him/her.  Don’t argue your case.  Arguing at this point in the game will only make you appear weak and needy.  In addition, nobody wants to be with someone that argues.  If you agree and show that you are willing to do whatever your spouse needs to move forward on ending your marriage, you will actually showing him/her that you are strong and confident.  This will, in turn, attract your spouse to you once again.  Many people that have put this theory to practice have reported finding true success and have reconciled with their mates.

Once you and your spouse have agreed NOT to divorce, there are some things you will need to do to assure that you won’t divorce in the future.   First, for anyone that has ever considered divorce, marriage counseling is a MUST.  When you have trouble directly telling your spouse what is troubling you, an unbiased third party can act as a mediator and help you work out issues.  Date night is also important.  If you have kids find a sitter once a month or so and go on a “date”.  Dress up and go out to your favorite restaurant.  Better yet, go to some of the places you used to enjoy going to when your relationship was at its strongest.  When ever you are feeling down about your marriage, pop your wedding video into the VCR, sit together on the couch and relive those memories.  Together, take your kids on a fun, family outing.  Mostly, just remember what it was that attracted you to each other and reminisce with each other about these things.
Divorce is a very difficult and emotional situation, especially if one of the parties does not want it.  If children are involved, it becomes even more complicated and more poignant.  

Avoiding a divorce is always the best option.  However, both individuals have to want to make it work.  Just like marriage, divorce should not be entered into lightly.